Katie Salisbury – India: Feb 9, 2007
The Most Astonishing Thing(s) in the World
09Feb07
The great Indian Mahabharata epic (literally: Maha means great, and Bharata means India) overflows with tales of long gruesome battles, gambling addictions and archery competitions, romantic rendezvous between the gods and humans, spells, friendships, and trickery. Through its imaginative allegories that accumulated hundreds of years ago, the beauty of the epic is that it sheds light on the human condition, even today. In one of these tales, a spirit of the forest Yaksha challenges the wise brother Yudisthira to one important question: “What is the most astonishing thing in the world?” In class yesterday, Professor Roy posed this question to his five students- urging us not to think too much, and just to speak from our heart. So before you read on, what would you say is the most astonishing thing in the world? What immediately came to my mind in class were the oceans- so vast that they cover 3/4ths of the world… their shores a playground, yet many of their depths an ancient mystery. Other thoughts that emerged were the intricacies of the human body, the wonder of the sunsets, the intersection of the physical and the spiritual that humans somehow embrace. Professor Roy reveled in all of our ideas, because he believes that no answer to this question can be wrong. In fact, he keeps the answers given by students over the years recorded in a book, in his words “Because you have to recall yourself to the feeling of wonder. It gets lost every day.”
Yes, wonder is indeed present every day. Lately sometimes I’ve seen it submerged as newness melts into routine, but then I blink my eyes as I’m wrestling Nalin or Aakash into their seats to feed them their rice, and I can recall that sense of wonder in their wide-eyed way of exploring the world. That’s what can make class so difficult sometimes… while the other volunteers and I try to get across to them various lessons we want them to know (this week we’re working on opposites!), they’re far too interested in what is going on outside the windows, the dog sleeping across the high fence, the crayon wrapper under their seats, the havoc their neighbor is wreaking on that day’s craft. And it’s the same for me, in my life here. At times I want to buckle down, focus on some linear path in order to get me from point A to point B in my studies and volunteer work. But other times, I get caught up in the wonder, sometimes beautiful, sometimes quite difficult, of being in this place, and it’s hard to stay in my seat.
Take last Tuesday, for instance. A dawning walk around the misty, bleary-eyed block. Two hours of hoarse-throated bliss with antsy three-year olds who endured a twenty minute lesson on “empty-full.” Later, Bethany and I took the Metro to Loreto College (where we’ve just started having classes on Indian Leadership, Morality, and Ethics twice a week), where fast-talking British/Indian accented young women in jeans and salwars discussed equality for women as prescribed in the finer points of the Koran. Back at home, Maashi Molina whisked us into blue sateen and red, gold-encrusted saris and we were off to a wedding!
My first Indian wedding deserves much recounting. Indian wedding ceremonies usually take place over three days: the actual ceremony takes place with the brides’ very extended family and the grooms’ close relatives, the next day the bride cooks a ceremonial meal for her new parents-in-law whom she will be living with and caring for, (and I don’t remember the 3rd!). Anyway, we were there for the day of the actual ceremony, and Uncle and Auntie were close relatives of the groom- a chemistry professor who’s been studying in Canada. He met his wife through his studies, and she’s currently doing master’s work in L.A., but of course they came back home for this momentous occassion! Bethany and I, along with Auntie, Uncle, and their daughter were greeted by a gorgeous corridor of stringed lights leading to a large open-aired patio. It was dark by then, but the place was lit not only by the lights gleaming off the ceremonial gazebo and the platters of food awaiting us, but also by the animation and excitement of the many friends and family members present. We went into a side room where the bride sat awaiting the ceremony. I thought she was so beautiful- covered in a dozen silver streams of necklaces, tiny flowered soft-yellow paint on her hands and forehead, clad in a traditional red wedding sari, with a coy, anxious look on her face that said “Yes, I know I’m the queen… let’s get this thing started!”
The whole ceremony seemed to jot around from setting to setting, and people in general seemed more concerned with chatting and milling about than watching the actual ceremony, although they clustered around for the important parts! This meant that I got pushed to the front in order to get a great look at what was going on. I saw females of the family walking around the groom seven times (a symbolically lucky number) presenting him with fruits and other blessings, before the bride emerged, veiling her face behind two leaves. She too had to walk around the groom seven times (although the Roy’s daughter said that it’s often humorous for the parents to make her walk around impatiently many more times than that) before unveiling herself and meeting her husband “as if for the first time.” It may seem foreign but I caught a few parallels to wedding ceremonies I’m more accustomed to, like the idea that the bride and groom aren’t supposed to see each other on the wedding day until they’re on the altar. Another funny parallel was that during the ceremonies, the father of the groom really didn’t have much of a role!! It was really the bride’s parents who participated in much of the religious rituals that followed, such as symbolically tying a knot between the bride’s sari and the groom’s cloak. It symbolizes the eternal knot and cannot be untied for a year. I could go on and on, but I’ll fast forward to the food- it was almost just too much! Every meat you could think of (except beef, of course!) including fancy fish rolls and patties, spicy corn with fried chipati, a delicious boiled many-times over sweet milk dish, yum! Bethany and I enjoyed just sipping through our desserts and people watching… at the end, we even managed to take a picture with the bride (which I will certainly post soon). :)
So you can see, the wonder, and the “astonishment” during my time here goes on. But what was Yudisthira’s answer? To that great question posed to him by Yaksha: “What is the most astonishing thing in the world?”
He answered: Humans are mortal, but we feel like we’ll never die.
Sound pessimistic? Ideally, the internalization of this simple truth should give us much freedom. The true realization of our limited lives gives us a sense of what’s really important. Of course, we need not be paralyzed by fear of death. We can find great joy in and in fact necessity in living in the world of today, planning for our future tomorrows. But embracing the fact that we live amidst radical uncertainty of tomorrow allows us to go about our plans with a sense of both heightened purpose and purposeful detachment, which keeps us from wanting more and more in this life we are being given.
Thanks for that thought, Yudisthira, and thank you India! :)