Journal for tbrounst

Meh, I’m tired and have been on the computer too long at this point, but I feel like I should post a quick update about what’s going on with me. Here’s what’s going on with me right now.

On Wednesday I hopped on a bus and traveled out to Dublin to meet up with my parents. They weren’t there when I got off the bus, having gone to the wrong bus station and me not getting off at the bus station I did go to, so I had a great moment of being in Dublin, by myself, and not sure of where the hotel was, or what its name was. It was pretty awesome. I figured it out, though, and was a little surprised at how good my memory of the city was. I knew most of the streets and stores still, despite only spending one weekend in the city about two months ago. I met up with the parents right outside of the hotel, then they took a nap (they’d been traveling a lot) and I wandered the city for a bit. As it turns out, Jackie was in Dublin with some friends enjoying spring break, so we met up with her (I guess she wasn’t sick of me yet) and took her out to dinner. Afterwards we talked for a long time which was good.

On Thursday we came back to Galway on a painfully over long bus ride of four and a half hours, and then wandered around a bit and looked at the city. I took my parents to Monroe’s, which is my favorite pub in town, and listened to some live music as we stood near a fire, then left.

Today my parents went on a bus tour of Connemara while I just dealt with some stuff here. It was a pretty relaxed day, I visited a friend who went to Belgium for a week and just got back, went for a walk, and just sat around online a lot. I met up with the parents after their tour and we went out to dinner. Unfortunately, since it’s Good Friday, all of the pubs are closed (the one day a year all the pubs close, incidentally), so there really wasn’t much to do. I got back to my room early-ish and have just been chatting with people online since.

Emotionally it’s been a rough week. Lots of ups and downs. Well, mostly just downs and times I forget about the downs. I’m just really confused and frustrated right now, and doing a lot of self-reflection and trying to figure out a lot of stuff. Plus, I’m still feeling pretty hurt about some things, and I feel bad because I know I hurt some others. I don’t want to go too much further into it because, well, this isn’t the place. I’m sorry to mention it briefly and not say anything, but that has been the defining point of the last few days for me—the rollercoaster of feelings I have over this one thing and trying to figure it all out.

I’m really looking forward to going to Scotland. Mostly because I’m going to be alone, fending for myself, traveling independently, in another country without a cell phone or laptop. I will be completely dependent on myself. More importantly, I will be cut off from…everything. I see this trip as being a time for some reflection and self-actualization. Being alone with my thoughts. Trying to discover myself or whatever. I’m not too into that idea of finding yourself, but I think it’ll be a good chance for me to think about who I am—who I’ve become—and who I want to become. Maybe I’ll have an epiphany. Or maybe I’ll just stare blankly at the countryside as my mind runs in the same circles it’s caught in right now. Who knows?

I’m just really looking forward to that trip. To vanishing, leaving it all behind.

So, that’s what I’ve been up to the past couple of days. There, I wrote about my life. Just like a real blog!