Willamette World News

Willamette World News

RSS Feed for This PostCurrent Article

“Das gibt es doch gar nicht!“ The Bielefeld Conspiracy

By Stina Köster

I have to be honest with you – writing this article might be dangerous for me. But I think it is time for me to speak up! Although I might be attracting THEIR attention…

What I would like to write about today is Bielefeld. If you ask Germans what Bielefeld is, you will probably get the answer that Bielefeld is a city in Nordrhein-Westfalen with about 330,000 inhabitants. And maybe they are going to show you its exact position on a map of Germany. And of course, it is marked on that map. Naturally, THEY were clever enough to manipulate the cartographers. However, there will be some brave people who will answer your question with a whispered “Das gibt es doch gar nicht!” (That does not exist!).


You might be surprised now, but I can only confirm this statement – Bielefeld does not exist. It is as simple as that – you just have to find answers to the following three questions:

1. Do you know anybody from Bielefeld?
2. Have you ever been to Bielefeld?
3. Do you know anybody who has ever been to Bielefeld?1

I can assure you that a majority will negate all three questions. From my personal experience, I can tell you this much: I do not know anybody from this “city,” I have never been there, but I know someone who claims to have been there. However, he was never able to give me some proof. Yes, we skyped with each other, while he was there. But his hotel room could have been anywhere! And he tried to convince me that he was indeed in Bielefeld?! Excuse me, I think that is a bit suspicious? Why was he trying to convince me? After all, before he went to that place, he had doubts about Bielefeld’s existence, too. And out of the sudden, he was a believer? I think something went wrong in “Bielefeld” (or wherever he was).

You might be even more confused now. Therefore, I will try to explain to you why we are making such a fuss about the existence or non-existence of Bielefeld. We have already established that a majority will negate the three questions stated above. This is pretty awkward for a city which is allegedly the eighteenth largest city in Germany according to Wikipedia, the official website of the city, and other “official” sources. It just does not add up. If Bielefeld exists and is as large as “official” documents want us to believe – then why do so few people have had any experiences in this city? Simply because it does not exist. BUT if Bielefeld does not exist, why do THEY want us to believe in its existence? I mean, it’s crazy! THEY spared neither expense nor effort to provide evidence for Bielefeld’s existence:

For example, there are thousands of cars with a license plate starting with BI, indicating that these cars were registered in Bielefeld (as BI represents the city of Bielefeld).


Another example is the soccer club Arminia Bielefeld. It’s the most unbelievable marketing trick ever! This soccer team was invented by THEM. Fans of the opponents’ teams are brought to the stadium without being able to visit the city itself. And you know what? The stadium is not even close to the center of Bielefeld! Coincidence? I don’t think so. Fans watching the soccer matches will think that they were in Bielefeld and will, therefore, perpetuate the belief in Bielefeld, but in fact they haven’t even been there!


The same applies to people driving on the Autobahn in Germany. There are big signs pointing towards Bielefeld, but when you arrive there – what happens then? Sometimes there are roadworks on the Autobahn and after going through all the diversions, nobody can tell if you have actually arrived in Bielefeld. But if you do, I am sorry to say, but then it’s probably too late for you. It is widely known that in Bielefeld-Zentrum (which is actually signposted on the Autobahn) sceptics of Bielefeld’s existence are brainwashed.


I suppose that is what happened to my friend… But this is only the tip of the iceberg. THEY try to influence innocent people by even more elaborate tactics: people in Germany applying for jobs showing diplomas from the university of Bielefeld (fake, obviously), zip codes belonging to the region of Bielefeld (the Post is also involved in this conspiracy?!), the city’s official website (seriously, these pictures could belong to any city – no proof!), …2

You could say, it is a bit too obvious. I think, they are trying too hard. But why bother? What are they hiding? As far as we know THEY have conspired with German authorities to create this illusion. But we cannot say for sure, what they are concealing. Right now, the following theories are circulating:

1. Bielefeld is the location of the imminent landing of Ashtar Sheran’s group of extraterrestrial beings. Among his group of followers are Elvis Presley and Kurt Cobain – they are still alive and protected by the Swedish Intelligence Agency.
2. John F. Kennedy is being held captive in Bielefeld by the CIA. Why? He wants to tell the truth about the fake moon landings. The Vatican might be involved in this, too.
3. Two ley-lines are crossing under the city. This is why Mossad and the OMEGA-Sector plan to build a research laboratory in Bielefeld. It is also possible that the entrance to the ancient, secret tunnel to America and Australia (via Atlantis) is to be found under Bielefeld. People who might have known about this, such as Uwe Barschel and Olof Palme, were removed by several intelligence agencies before they were able to reveal the truth.2
So be aware, if you ever visit Germany! Be careful not to come too close to Bielefeld or to express your doubt as to its existence, if you don’t want to risk to get brainwashed…


Bielefeld does in fact exist!

Of course, everything I said above is just a joke.

The Bielefeld conspiracy originated from a Usenet post by Achim Held in 1994. Experiencing a friend’s disbelief towards someone mentioning coming from Bielefeld at a students’ party, he decided to expand on this idea. His post was originally intended as a joke and as a satire of conspiracy theories. However, it spread throughout the Internet community and is now one of the most popular Internet jokes in Germany.

Even the city council of Bielefeld has recognized the potential of the Bielefeld conspiracy for generating publicity. In the beginning, however, opinions on the myth were mixed. In 1999, the city council even gave a press statement, stating that Bielefeld does exist (Bielefeld gibt es doch!). Unfortunately, it was released on April Fools’ Day. And even now, the city council still receives e-mails from people who are questioning the existence of Bielefeld.

Even German Chancellor Angela Merkel once made reference to the Bielefeld conspiracy in public. In November 2012, when she was talking about a town hall meeting in Bielefeld, she said: “… if it exists at all.” (“… so es denn existiert.”) and “I had the impression that I was there.” (“Ich hatte den Eindruck, ich war da.”).3

Last, but not least, the Bielefeld conspiracy is subject of various short movies, jokes, cartoons, etc. which you will now be able to understand when you are visiting Germany 😉

Concluding this article, I would like to show you two of these cartoons – designed by the well-known cartoonist Ralf Ruthe (born in Bielefeld):



1 The Conspiracy Wiki. Bielefeld. URL: http://conspiracy.wikia.com/wiki/Bielefeld [Last Access: April 20, 2017].
2 Held, A. Die Bielefeld-Verschwörung. URL: http://www.bielefeldverschwoerung.de/ [Last Access: April 20, 2017].
3 DAPD (2012). Auch Merkel zweifelt an Existenz Bielefelds. Die Welt. Date: November 27, 2012. URL: https://www.welt.de/newsticker/news3/article111575893/Auch-Merkel-zweifelt-an-Existenz-Bielefelds.html [Last Access: April 29, 2017]

Trackback URL

Sorry, comments for this entry are closed at this time.